


don't make this weird

by orphan_account



Category: Green Arrow (Comics)
Genre: Egg Laying, Fatherhood, Gen, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Puberty, ollie tries his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 11:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16702048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Roy lays his first egg.For prompt:As a first time parent/mentor, Ollie has never had to deal with a child’s first laying before. As an alpha, he’s never laid himself. Worst of all, Roy gets his first laying on patrol.





	don't make this weird

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thrakaboom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thrakaboom/gifts).



> Takes place in roughly the same universe as [batman smells, robin laid an egg](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15238548) but no knowledge of that fic is needed or even recommended really

"This is gonna sound weird," said Roy, placing a hand over his lower abdomen, "but I have a really bad cramp right now and I kinda feel like i need to... squat over a nest?"

"Oh, shit," said Ollie.

Green Arrow and Speedy had been on their usual patrol routine, making their way through the Triangle District, when Roy had begun feeling a strange gurgling inside his belly. The night had seemed quiet, but if Ollie looked up, he could see Star Bridge, where just last week, they'd fought Deadshot on top of a moving train. He looked at Speedy again. Shit, Speedy was a fucking child. Was he endangering a child? This was very bad.

"Does it feel kinda exposed out here?" asked Roy. "Should we be on a roof? I just want to be on a roof."

"Let's get you somewhere safe," said Ollie. 

"Is patrol over?"

"Patrol is very much over."

It was only two blocks to Ollie's closest safehouse, a nice little loft in a building owned by Queen Industries. The walk seemed to stretch on in silence, though; it was most likely Roy's first cycle, given how confused he was, and Ollie was faced with the fact that he might be having to explain a whole bunch of things he didn't know a lot about. He didn't want to be giving Roy the "talk" while they were walking through the goddamn Triangle—what kind of terrible father was he, talking about puberty to a child he'd brought into the heart of Star City's contested crimelord territory? And he was not a terrible father. He hoped.

By the time they made it into the apartment, Roy was nearly doubled over, clutching at his stomach. He claimed he wasn't in pain, though—he just felt indescribably _strange_ , as though bits and pieces inside his body were moving around, rearranging themselves. Ollie knew he didn't have much time left, so he grabbed a bowl of fruit from the kitchen counter, dumped its contents into the sink, and handed it to Roy.

"Do you want to perch on this?"

Roy glared at him from where he was curled up on the sofa. "Why would I want to perch on that? What is _happening_ to me?"

Ollie felt a flash of panic. "Wait, you don't know?"

"What should I know?"

Oh, shit.

"Okay. Uh, do you remember that time when I... talked to you about... becoming an adult?"

Roy rolled his eyes. "You mean that time you got Hal Jordan to tell me to use lotion when I jerk it so my dick doesn't end up chafed?"

When did Oliver end up in the habit of getting sassed on a regular basis by a twelve-year-old? Bruce's sidekick wasn't like this. That kid was sweet and gentle and, okay, maybe a little annoying. Roy was definitely the better kid.

"Yes. That time. Did Hal mention anything about, uh, alphas and omegas and secondary genders?"

"I know about those, but from other kids at school. Not from Green Lantern Sex Ed."

"Oh boy," said Ollie, sitting down next to Roy and extending an arm around his shoulders. He'd seen fathers do that in movies. "I'm gonna kill Hal. So, uh, sorry if you've heard this before, but, uh. Do you know that you're an omega?"

"I figured. From the cloaca."

"Do you know what your cloaca is for?"

Roy shook his head.

"Oh boy," said Ollie again. "So, uh, do you know where babies come from?"

"Omegas birth them. But I'm not—I'm not pregnant, I haven't _done_ anything—"

"Okay, so, uh. Humans aren't like dogs or cats or Tamaraneans. We don't give live birth. We're more like... chickens."

Roy glared at him for a moment, and then widened his eyes as he made a realization. "Oh no. No, no, no."

"Every young omega, when they begin to, uh, grow up, become an adult omega, you're going to start ovulating. And, uh—"

"No, no, no, no."

"—you're going to start laying eggs on a regular basis."

"I fuckin' _hate_ you, Ollie. You're the worst."

It would've hurt, but it also wasn't the first time he'd heard a similar sentiment from his young ward. Kid had a temper on him. He was kind of great, actually.

Roy stood up and began to storm off, making for the stairs to the second floor.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm gonna go squeeze an egg out my ass, 'cause apparently that's what's happening now! And I'd like to do it in peace."

* * *

Afterwards, Roy opened the bathroom door and found Ollie sitting there on the floor, waiting.

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay," said Ollie, standing up and smiling warmly.

"I'm fine," said Roy. "And I'm sorry. For what I said to you. You're not... you're not the worst. I don't hate you."

"It's okay to hate me sometimes."

"I'm not giving you a hug," said Roy. "Don't make this weird."

"I love you too, kid."


End file.
